To Reunification & Beyond

When a child enters into foster care, our number one goal, if possible, is reunification with the biological family. While that isn’t always the case and adoption or kinship care becomes the next steps, a successful reunification is something that we strive for. In some cases, the reunification with the biological family continues to include the foster parents that have come to love those children. 

One of our foster families encountered just that with a recent placement. Below, Heather reflects on her relationship with her foster children’s biological mom, both before and after reunification. 

“TO REUNIFICATION AND BEYOND”

One of the hardest things about being a foster parent is saying good- bye to the children we have shared our home and our love with.  While reunification should always be our ultimate goal, when possible, our hearts break at the thought of these children no longer being in our lives.  Sometimes, however, if you are lucky, you have built a relationship with the biological parent(s) that allows continued contact.  We have been blessed to have this relationship with our most recent placement.

In August 2017, we welcomed a 9-month-old boy, Tomas, and his 7-year-old sister, Ugenia, into our home.  The mother is from Guatemala and the children were placed with us, primarily because we are a bilingual family.  There was initial animosity from mom, because people told her that we planned to adopt her children. However, once I made it clear that this is only a step that is taken when parents don’t show interest in working their plan or recovering their children, things went more smoothly.  

The children returned to her care in May 2018.  Since that time, we have been able to spend time with them as a family and also one on one with the children.  We took Ugenia to VBS, had birthday celebrations with them, have assisted with follow up medical appointments for a health condition that required Tomas to have surgery while in our care, helped mom shop for WIC and served as emergency babysitters.  Once, when we were shopping, Tomas kept saying “mommy, mommy” and, even though she would answer him he continued until she said “oh, the other mommy” and laughed. It felt good to know she was ok with him calling me mommy.  

My greatest gift came yesterday, though, when the mom sent me a text to wish me happy Valentine’s Day (known as the day of love and friendship in Latin America) and thanked me for our unconditional love for them and told me they love us as well.            

Written by Heather C.

We would like to thank Heather for sharing her experiences with us! If you are interested in fostering, please contact us at 423-693-2580 or email fostercare@chamblisscenter.org.

National Foster Care Month & Foster Care Information Session

May is National Foster Care Month. With an estimated 1,000 children in the Tennessee Valley in state care at any given time, there is a critical need for quality, loving foster homes in this area. Chambliss Center for Children will host a free Foster Care Information Session on Tuesday, June 4th for those with an interest in fostering. This Foster Care Information Session is an opportunity to learn more about our PATH (Parents as Tender Healers) training, the State of Tennessee's required training for foster parents. You'll have a chance to get general information about fostering and ask questions. There's no commitment to sign up for classes that evening, however, if you want to begin the classes, you can immediately enroll in our accelerated program for the summer. Classes will begin June 6th and continue every Tuesday and Thursday through the end of June. If you need time to consider, we will have another round of PATH classes starting in September, which will meet once a week on Thursdays.

Kindly RSVP to 423-693-2580 by Friday, May 31st, so accurate preparations may be made. Child care is also available, but must be scheduled by Friday, May 31st, as well.

National Child Abuse Prevention Month

Ending Generational Hurt…. Now!

Written by Case Manager, Antole T.

During the month of April and throughout the year, communities are encouraged to increase awareness and provide education and support to families through resources and strategies to prevent child abuse and neglect. Abuse and neglect take a long-term physical and emotional toll on individual children, their families, and the communities in which they live. It costs more than $128 billion each year. In 2018, there were more than 700,000 confirmed victims of child abuse and neglect in the United States.

Hundreds, even thousands, of American children’s lives can be saved each year by protecting those at highest risk for death due to abuse and neglect. By many measures, our communities suffer from the exponential growth of traumatized children impacting our schools, public health, and public safety. The economic impact of generational child abuse and the ever-increasing numbers of mothers without parenting skills, children with serious mental health problems, and inadequate coping skills is making America poorer and more dangerous. 

Chambliss Center for Children, along with other local organizations, are continuing the prevention work by informing, teaching, and training the families within our community. 

The video linked below shares how Chambliss Center for Children is an ongoing gateway to ending the fight against child abuse by providing keys resources that help install safe relationships for our children and foster families within our community. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfHOJe-KVmk

For additional resources and trainings, visit our website, www.chamblisscenter.org, and www.cachc.org.

Life as a Foster Parent: Sharon Collins

One of our Case Managers, Melissa Hand, recently sat down with one of our foster parents and interviewed her about her experience with fostering. Read below for her story.

Sharon Collins, Chambliss Center for Children Foster Parent

I recently interviewed an expert panel for a foster parent class. One of my panel members was our foster parent, Sharon Collins, who has been fostering for 18 years. I later spoke with her to gather more information. Here are some of her insights:

Melissa: How did you get into fostering? 

Sharon: My niece, that I raised as my own since third grade, encouraged me to foster when she and my daughter both moved out. She did not want me to be lonely. I started with teenage girls, but after some time, I decided to take boys instead.  I have fostered over 50 children in 18 years.

Melissa: What are some of the most important things you have learned? 

Sharon: Have a backup plan for help, especially as a single foster parent – my significant other helps with picking up kids and serves as a mentor and a father figure.  I also expect kids to be kids… my house is “lived in”. Also, don’t take things the child does personally, they are acting on what they’ve learned from their family, or because they are upset about their situation.

Melissa: What are some tips for working with birth parents?

Sharon: I have to earn their trust and build relationship with both the children and their parents. Birth parents will be watching everything you say and do. Just be yourself and encourage them. I give the parents my number (*optional*), and allow them to call me about their children. I brag to them about their children and remind them that I am not trying to take their child from them, just to love them and keep them until they can work it out to get them home. I encourage them to do what they need to do to get their kids back, and let them know they can always call me to get advice, encouragement, and sometimes, assistance. 

Melissa: How can you help a child acclimate to your home, considering their trauma history?

Sharon: I help them ease into my home by watching TV or playing family games together, especially if I have another foster child in the home. That helps.  If they want, I take them to a restaurant that is similar to their culture or one that they love. If they are really nervous, I joke with them to break the ice.  I asked one teenager if he was scared and he said “yes”, so I asked him if he bites… He looked at me funny and said “No” … then I said, “Neither do I, So, we’ll be alright!” This made him laugh and it really helped. You have to keep a sense of humor!

I’d like to thank Sharon for sharing her experiences with us! If you are interested in fostering, please contact Chambliss at 423-693-2580, or email fostercare@chamblisscenter.org.

I look forward to working with you!   ~Melissa Hand, Case Manager